Life as a Prince who Writes Fanfiction
by MetaNightmare88
Summary: Even though he's embarrassed to admit it, Roy has been writing Fanfiction for some time now. And he'd like to keep it a secret. But, one day someone comes to his room and threatens to expose his secret if he refuses to do everything she asks while his friends (one an intern) try to teach him to be more confident in himself. Happens during Will This Be A Modern Day Fairy Tale.
1. The Fanfiction Writer

"And that's the end of our story!" Roy beamed. "So. What did you think?"

"Eh. That story was OK." Pit mused. "But remind me again. Why did you kill off Alphys?"

"I was mad at him." Roy muttered as he continued to type on his computer. "Anyways what should the next story be about?"

"Let me think…OHHHHHHH!" Pit smiled as he snapped his fingers. "Make it a PapyrusXFrisk fic!"

"Great idea!" Roy beamed. "Hey, you won't tell the others about my 'hobby' will you?"

"Oh course not." Pit said. "I'll be as silent as well…Link!"

The two burst out laughing.

"Please be quiet." A girl with a long brown ponytail asked as she put down her book. "I'm trying to read."

"Oh. Sorry Linde." Roy mused. "I didn't mean to bother you."

"Its no problem, just as long as you don't do it again." She mused as she went back to reading.

"Dude." Pit whispered. "Remind me why this girl is staying here again? She wasn't even considered for Smash."

"It's the internship remember." Roy whispered back. "Everyone has someone from their dimentsion coming to stay with them for a few days."

"Roy…" A smooth voice suddenly mused from the hallway.

Roy and Pit looked at each other in pure horror.

"Oh no." Roy gasped as he closed the computer. "It's the devil herself!"

"Really?" Linde asked. "Sounded like Peach to me."


	2. The Contract

"QUICK!" Pit cried as he grabbed a chair and pushed it against the door. "Barge the door! Don't let her in!"

"Are you insane or something?" Linde yelled. "I've seen you clobber her a million times on the battlefield and yet you're terrified of her here?"

"You don't understand!" Roy muttered as he grabbed Linde and began to shake her back and forth. "That women is evil!"

"She's a princess who gets kidnapped every day." Linde snapped. "How evil could she be?"

"Allow me to explain." Pit hissed. "You see, Peach has a thing for tradition. She wants everything to be like a fairy tale, even though life's really not like that. So in order to make her life into a real life into a fairy tale, she turns every other Princess around her into a damsel in distress and hires a prince to recuse them."

"So she's delusional." Linde said. "That doesn't make her evil. And if you're worried about the anti-feminist messages she's sending, then give her over to some of the idiots on Tumblr, who take it way too far."

"Not everyone on Tumblr is an idiot!" Roy yelled as someone began to knock on the door. "Anyways, she'll do anything to make reality into a fantasy… even use potions to make someone act a certain way…The same potions that are currently in the medicine cabinet right now. There's one to make someone overly emotional that lasts a week and one that takes away someone's ability to fight. Also her 'Kidnapping' is just a way for her to get naughty with Bowser while Mario is oblivious to the whole thing."

"Wait…a second… is that really true?" Pit asked.

"Who did you think was the mother of the kooplings?" Roy asked as he put his back against the chair.

"Woah." Pit mused. "We should write a song about this."

"A song?" Linde asked.

"We're in a rock band together." Roy beamed.

"So you write Fanfiction and make terrible music?" Linde asked. "Seems legit."

"Our music isn't BAD!" Pit cried. "Lady Palutena said it 'Sounded like nothing she had ever heard before'".

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Linde asked.

But before Pit could respond the door burst open to reveal Peach standing in the doorway.

"Why hello there Gentleman." Peach smiled.

"Why hello to you to." Linde muttered.

"Wha-what do you want!" Pit cried.

"Relax." Peach beamed as she walked over to the cabinet and grabbed two potions. "I'm just here to grab my usual potions."

"You…you are?" Roy asked. _Who is she going to turn into a weak damsel in distress this time?_ "Is that it?"

"No!" Peach beamed as she held up a poster with Roy, Pit, Corrin and Ike. "I just wanted to meet the lead singer of my favorite band!"

"You mean… WE HAVE FANS?" Pit cried.

"C-cool…" Roy muttered. _I didn't realize I was that good. But honestly… the band is just a ruse so that everyone already has something to embarrass me about. Because if anyone starting embarrassing me about the Fanfiction I write… I don't think I'd be able to leave my room._

"Very little, but yes they exist." Peach smiled.

"Your band is called 'The Unicorn Boi's'?" Linde asked as she peered at the flyer.

"Don't judge us!" Pit cried as he snatched the flyer.

"I must say, I have a thing for princes who sing." Peach blushed. "And so does Lucina… come to think of it you'd make a cute couple…"

"What are you talking about…? OH!" Linde cried as she snapped her fingers. "You're going to use your potions on this 'Lucina' person and turn her into a damsel in in distress and Roy's going to save her!"

"Correct!" Peach beamed.

"No." Roy snapped.

"But why?" Peach asked.

"Because it's stupid." Roy hissed. "I'd rather drink a gallon of Bleach then take part in this stupid little fantasy of yours! Also there is no way I'm going to date Lucina! She's already in love with someone else!"

"Trust me, she's not in love with Shulk." Peach beamed. "That kind of stuff only happens in a Fanfiction."

Roy's ears began to turn red. "A…a fanfiction?" He asked.

"Yes!" Peach beamed as she pulled out a dictionary and put on some glasses. "Fanfiction, you see is defined as 'fiction written by a fan of, and featuring characters from, a particular TV series, movie, etc.' But you wouldn't know anything about that would you?"

"N-no!" Roy cried.

"Well you should learn more about it! Some are pretty damn good, and some contain porn for fanboys to flap to!" Peach beamed as she turned 90 degrees. "We're even in one right now."

"What are you talking about?" Linde asked. "And who are you talking to?"

"No one!" Peach winked.

"I didn't know you liked Fanfiction!" Pit cried.

"Oh I love it!" Peach beamed as she pulled up some (Fanfiction) on her phone. "Here are some amazing ones about us! We have 'The Smasher's Go to Universal Orlando' By Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus, 'Smash Life' by CrashGuy01, and 'Changing Fate Together' by Writer of Worlds! But my favorite writer of all time, is Inferno-Phoenix!"

Roy froze in shock. _That's my penname! Oh no. She doesn't…know my secret does she?_

"What so special about them?" Linde asked as Pit nudged her hard. "What?"

"They write Fanfiction about Undertale, Danganronpa and some other stuff." Peach beamed. "And guess what? He's right in front of us!"

Roy let out a gasp.

"That's right." Peach smiled. "I know of your little hobby."

"H-how…" Roy muttered. "How did you find out?"

"Spy cameras!" Peach beamed as she pulled out some cameras. "I must say, you write a LOT of Fanfiction. I cant wait to tell everyone!"

"Please." Roy whimpered as he fell to his knees. "Don't tell anyone."

"Why is he acting so pathetic right now?" Linde whispered to Pit.

"He's insanely embarrassed to tell anyone." Pit whispered back. "It's a bit of a personal issue that has to do with a backstory I don't want to share at the moment."

"Don't worry!" Peach smiled as she whipped out some paper and a pen. "Just sign this contract that makes you my mindless servant in exchange!"

"Never." Roy hissed as Peach handed him the pen.

"Really." Peach smiled as she pushed the contract further in his face. "Because it's either that or I expose your secret to everyone. So what will it be?"

* * *

 **The Fanfictions I mentioned actually exist. Go check them out!**


	3. Seal The Deal

**Just to be clear Linde is not an OC. She's a character from Fire Emblem who I added in because I love her.**

* * *

"I can't believe you." Linde mused as she took a drink out of her Slurpee. "You seriously traded in all of your freedom and liberty for a secret."

The two of them were in the food court, lazily drinking Slurpee's and having a chat. It had been about 4 hours since Roy had signed his contract with Peach, therefore agreeing to be her loyal servant for all eternity.

"Is there a problem?" Roy asked as he nervously took a drink as music began to play. "Come on. She's not going to take it seriously… wait a second. Why is a Taylor Swift song playing?"

All of a sudden three men in glittery pink tuxedos walked into the room, while carrying Peach on a huge pink boom box. She took off her sunglasses and smiled.

"HELLO THERE BITCHES!" Peach beamed as they walked her further into the room. "Now then, Lucy. Please get me some soda!"

"Alright." Lucina hissed. "But don't think I like any of this."

"Good girl!" Peach beamed. "Man, ordering someone to be your friend and making them act like it to the public is SO MUCH FUN! Now then. How are doing Roy? I'm FANTASTIC by the way. I just finished this AMAZING play called "The Skin of Our Teeth"."

"W-what are you doing here?" Roy asked.

"Visiting my new slave!" Peach beamed.

"Wow." Linde mused. "Shouldn't you have done this in…? I don't know… an area that isn't crowded with people?"

"Oh come on!" Peach smiled. "There all NPCs anyways! Besides, Master Hand will put me on mute, because everyone knows that he loves drama!"

"Isn't that risky to base it on a simple limb like that?" Linde asked. "I mean-"

"SHUT UP YOU STUPID WORE!" Peach cried as Lucina handed her the soda. "Anyways Roy, it's time to begin. And don't think I can't stop you. These people in the tuxedos? They're lawyers. I'll sue if you try to- OK that's it!" She turned 90 degrees.

P-PEACH? What are you doing?

"Quitting this stupid fanfiction." Peach hissed. "It's really dumb and poorly written. And why do we live in a mansion? Where did that even come from?"

Peach! Get back in character!

"Fine!" Peach snapped. "But don't think I like this stupid story one bit!"

PEACH!

"Ok!" Peach yelled. "I'll do it. Anyways you can't get out of this contract. It's enteral."

"Who were you just talking to?" Linde asked.

"The author." Peach smiled.

"What?" Lucina said. "I've heard you mention that name before-"

"Shut up dumbass!" Peach hissed. "Anyways. Stay with these losers, until I get back from my dressing room to recover. I hate this fic so much…"

"Alright." Lucina mused. She turned around to face Roy. "What have you done? Why did you sign that contract?"

"I-I-I had no choice!" Roy cried. "Why did you sign it?"

"She snuck it into our roommate agreement." Lucina said as she pulled out a flower from her pocket and began pulling the petals off. "But then again. Maybe it's for the best. I mean its girls like her, that the guys always fall for."

"What's going on…? OH! I get it!" Linde smiled as she snapped her fingers and a grin appeared on her face. "You're in love!"

"Yeah." Lucina sighed.

"How…how did it happen?" Roy asked.

"I don't know." Lucina admitted. "He tutored me a couple of times-"

"OH SO NOW THE AUTHOR IS TRYING TO IMPLY EVENTS THAT NEVER EVEN HAPPENED IN THE ORIGNAL!" Peach shouted as she ran back in. "I guess its ok to add in new material…"

PEACH! STOP INTERUPTING MY STORY!

"Fine." Peach mused. "But don't think I like any of this."

"I didn't fall in love at first but as time grew on…wait a second. Who are you?" Lucina asked.

"My name is Linde." Linde smiled. "I'm an intern who's visiting."

"Remember that dice roll we did to find the person who would guide them and show them around." Roy asked.

"Right!" Lucina mused. "You rolled the lowest number!"

"Unfortunately yes." Roy admitted.

"Wait a second…" Linde asked. "Did none of you guys even WANT to take me on?"

"Well…you'll never be in Smash so…" Roy muttered.

"So I'm not cool enough for you?" Linde asked. "Come on, we have some things in common, such as our devotion to our fathers and… oh forget it!"

"No one who's an intern is every going to be in Smash." Lucina said. "It's just an experiment."

"Oh so I'm just an experiment now?" Linde huffed. "Alright then."

"Anyways, guys tend to love the whole damsel in distress much more than the strong warrior." Lucina mused.

Roy frowned. "Lucina…you do realize everyone in Smash is full of strong warriors…and not so strong ones like Olimar, Wii Fit trainer…"

"Exactly" Lucina mused. "Not everyone here is strong. I just need to be a bit weaker."

"Are you seriously doing that for love?" Linde asked. "You just need to follow the 'be yourself' clique that always appears in movies and TV shows. And is this guy really worth it?"

"Well…" Lucina mused.

"ATTENTION EVERYONE!" Master Hand screamed over the loudspeakers. "I AM HERE TO DELIEVER A SEVERE WEATHER WARNING! NOW GO GET SUPPLIES! NOW! OR ELSE I'M MAKING EVERYONE WATCH THE EMOJI MOVIE!"

Everyone screamed in horror and ran away.

* * *

"And that's everything that happened." Roy sighed as he put the magazine back on the rack. "What do you think?"

"Wow." Pit mused. "But cheer up man. Could be worse."

"Right because I'm only now a mindless minion like those girls you see in every single Disney Channel movie who follows the popular girl around everywhere." Roy snapped.

"Oh come on. Where's you're since of fun? We're in the Oykot Grand Market! This place has EVERYTHING! Like this! " Pit smiled as he put on fake glasses and a fake mustache. "I'm a creepy old man who steals candy from babies and I'm going to get you…"

"Pathetic." Dark Pit muttered as he Shulk, and Marth stopped to stare. "Even Marth's better at comedy than you."

"WHA-Don't be mean!" Marth cried.

"What are you hosiers looking at?" Pit asked as he walked forwards. "I'm just your average everyday… GAH!"

All of a sudden Dark Pit pushed Pit and he crashed into Roy and the two landed on each together.

"Sorry." Pit said as he turned on his stomach, pressing Roy into the ground. "But don't blame me! It's all Pitoo's fault! Hasn't anyone taught you that bulling is wrong?"

"Bullying is wrong." Dark Pit agreed. "Unless if your target is a stupid angel who is always to cheerful and happy for his own good of course."

"WHA-GET OFF OF ME!" Roy cried as he began to blush.

"OMG!" Marth cried. "Is this going to be one of those Yaoi stories? I've heard about them but I've never…"

"No way." Dark Pit snorted as the two stood up. "Only a total idiot would…ACK!"

"Let's get out of here." Shulk yelled as he dragged both Dark Pit and Marth away by their collars. "You can laugh at them in private."

"But that ruins the fun!" Dark Pit cried.

"Ooooooohhhhhh is this what it feels like to be a vacuum cleaner!" Marth beamed. "Because it's FUN!"

"SHUT UP!" Dark Pit snapped as they were both carried away.

* * *

 **The play The Skin Of Our Teeth actually exists. I highly recommend it and it will become significant later. Also, as much as I love the idea of the Smash Mansion I would like to know it's origins. When did it start? If anyone knows please tell me!**


	4. Disbanded

**WARNING: This chapter is super lazy. I had an thirty minutes to write this and the result was this. I promise something meatier tomorrow.**

* * *

 _No, no not like that._ Roy thought angrily as he continued to bang his head against the pillow. _Come on! I just need an idea! Any idea will do for god's sake! If I don't post anything, my fans will hate me!_

The young prince was trying to find an idea to write a chapter about. But unfortunately, none were coming to surface.

"Hey there!" Pit cried as he opened the door.

"AH!" Roy screamed. He then realized it was Pit and narrowed his eyes. "How did you get into my dorm?"

"I stole the key from Captain Falcon." Pit smiled as held up the room key with a smile.

"You need to give that back." Roy snapped.

"I will." Pit snapped. "BUT I wanted to talk with you. I think we all know that it's supposed to start storming tonight."

"I've only been reminded about 100 times." Roy mused. "But I really hope that it won't knock out the Wi-Fi."

"I guess… it would be bad, especially since your trying to rewrite the last Percy Jackson book." Pit mused as he gave Roy a hug from behind.

"I'm trying to rewrite the last three Harry Potter books." Roy snapped.

"Which is just as sad." Pit beamed as he began to nuzzle Roy.

"Stop." Roy hissed as he pushed Pit's head away. "You're embarrassing yourself.

"How?" Pit asked as he moved in front of Roy and curled up on his lap as the door began to open. "You should really define embarrassing"

"If you mean what you two are doing right now, than yes that's embarrassing." Ike muttered.

The two screamed in horror as they both sat up to see both Ike and Corrin standing in the doorway.

"Honestly." Corrin said. "Is this some kind of Yato manga?"

"N-no!" Roy cried as he looked at his bandmates.

"Anyways." Ike sighed. "I found out about the whole Peach controlling you thing."

"How?" Pit demanded.

"She posted it on her Snapchat." Corrin said as he held up his phone to reveal a screenshot of a smiling Peach with dog ears sitting on Roy's shoulders.

"Wow." Roy mused. "That was a dumb move. Why isn't anyone tracking her down?"

"Who knows?" Corrin shrugged. "Anyways, it appears we have to put the band on hold."

"Why?" Pit asked.

"Because of Roy's situation." Ike mused. "Anyways I have to go. It's taco night."

"You're leaving?" Roy asked. "Why?"

"Because I asked them to!" Peach beamed as she walked in and Corrin and Ike exited. "I told them to keep it super short and not-so-sweet so I can give you your new assignment!"

"Assignment?" Roy echoed.

"Yes." Peach nodded. "I need you to get me a dragon from Dragons R Us."

The sound of thunder could be heard outside the window.

"WHAT?" Pit cried. "Isnt that place forbidden?"

"Who cares?" Peach beamed. "Now then. Roy. GO TO THAT WEBSITE!"

"No." Roy snapped.

"Excuse me." Peach smiled as she whipped out a contract. I don't seem to recall giving you a chance to disagree. Now then. Go get me that dragon…OR ELSE!"


End file.
